kissmycatastrophe:

buttlicked:

You’re bad at grammar? *pats u on shoulder* their, they’re, there.

I JUST SPIT MY CEREAL ALL OVER MY COMPUTER

bananasaregood-bowtiesarecool:

mcsnuggie:

true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn

i read that wrong and thought “how the fuck can a movie eat popcorn”

egberts:

be there or be²

ticklishbutts:

theladyofpie:

ticklishbutts:

the Cold War is basically just the United State and the Soviet Union saying how big of a penis they have but when it comes down to it neither of them actually want to flash the other to show for fear the other actually does have a bigger penis

Holy shit, that’s spot on

I don’t post faulty penis analogies so of course it is

theweirdname:

whateverhumans:

rootbeef:

gangstamickey:

being hot but also feeling like you need something over your legs

being hot but also being unable to sleep without a blanket

being hot

 

pavlovs-schrodinger:

pavlovs-schrodinger:

when im older and my kid needs me to sign something for school im just gonna write “Dad” in really crappy handwriting so it seems like my kid forged my signature and the teacher calls to tell me and im just “yes no it is i dad”

i posted this when i accidentally took too much medication

screw you guys